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Thursday, January 04, 2007

Alright, I know. A new year has come but somehow, I just don't feel any difference. The same old worries and frustration from 2006 seems to stay and refuses to leave my mind. I just don't know what to do. I agree that these problems are all my fault and that I can choose to remove them but somehow their roots have been etched in my mind for a very long time that I can't seem to solve it.


my epic drama ; 9:54 PM

Saturday, December 23, 2006



my epic drama ; 11:25 PM

Monday, November 27, 2006

FINANCIAL RETROSPECTION

I passed the theory test and can't wait to begin my driving lessons. Just blew my bank account by spending a huge some of money on the practical lessons which does not include the fees for the driving tests. Got to start saving up. There's just so many things I want to get after I complete my service.

1) Overseas trip (probably to LA)
2) Laptop
3) iPod Video
4) Electronic Drumset
5) More clothes
6) Personal maintainence

Saw this on Youtube. Thought it was funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbbxuGzIzLg


my epic drama ; 10:39 PM

Friday, November 24, 2006

RVing AWAY TO SEATTLE GRACE!

That would be exactly 2 months 24 days or just 85 days since I visited this website to drown it with all my emotions, words, thoughts and philosophy. I have been spending the last few days watching Grey's Anatomy Season 2 and I must say it's getting more exciting, more intense and more emotional. I even have thoughts of directing a season of Grey's in the future (If I get the chance too!). Even the soundtrack is amazing! Juz hoping to get my hands on Season 3.

The most crucial thing to me now is that I'm gonna take my basic theory test for driving tomorrow. I feeling really stressed out and anxious this moment. Yeah, I know. I'm having a relapse now - my paranoid alter-ego is taking control over me now just like it did during JC days. Now, is that a medical condition requiring attention from the interns from Grey's? If that is so, I would like Dr Izzie Stevens to treat me! *smirking away* Anyway, I'm just curious. How come there ain't any psychiatrists in Seattle Grace. It would be great and exciting to have some patients with psychiatric disorders in Grey's - adds to the excitement!

Just can't wait for the day I get my driver's license and here I come Baby Porshe!


my epic drama ; 8:13 PM

Thursday, August 31, 2006

THE DAY

Okay! I went back RJ to see some of those teachers who taught me . Apparently Ms Tang was on course so she was not around and we decided to give her a call and wish her, leaving the bottle of merlot we got for her in her pigeon hole. The same went for Ms JasTan, who scurried away after some celebrations in school. We saw her in her car and Gab and Glenn tried to give chase but how fast can a couple of quads, hamstrings and glutes (i'm not sure if they are developed. haha! That certainly isn't the case for me) overcome the power of the engine of an automobile.

Met Mr KevLow and apparently he wasn't Odac teacher-in-charge anymore. He had been promoted to ADH of Leadership! Even Ms Teh whom we met later was ADH of Biology this year. The amazing thing is that almost all the teachers in Odac were promoted to ADH - tang, teh and low! Spend time recollecting those expeditions (especially the one in India) we had and Mr Low mentioned that our batch was the luckiest as we were the only batch that got the YEP (youth expedition project0 and the chance to do our CIP in India which I felt was a spiritually-fulfilling and eye-opening experience. Junyang later told me that we were lucky not to be born a year later.

After that, we left for Novena to have lunch at Vines Restaurant. Gab sneakily told the manager that it was my birthday and at the end, my dessert had ice-cream and some fudge with my brownie and a candle and a sign. Wow! I'm so touched!

Thanks to Glenn, Gabriel, Junyang, Shawn, Raymond, ZhenChang and YeeOnn for spending my birthday with me and even relenting to go to Vines despite the fact that some wanted to go Fish&Co. I appreciate it a lot.

Also, thanks to JasHo for remembering that it's my birthday and like that rather munchkin-ny greeting! haha!

Finally thanks to mum and dad. without you, there won't be this day.

Okie! I'll cut the crap! I noe this sounds like my acceptance speech at the Academy Awards...haha! Hope that comes true one day....

Wanted to surprise my family after dinner - decided to do a sideways. Bought a small bottle of cabernet and we celebrated...

I'm 19th.












my epic drama ; 9:12 PM

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

THE CELEBRATIONS

Since Nas and Gerald had to book in tonight, I decided it was best to celebrate my birthday with both of them before they had to return to thir respective 'abyss'.

Met them in town and we decided to do some shopping - I needed a new belt and perhaps some new clothes. But the problem was there was no sale around so much of the apparels were pretty much costly. But I did succeed in getting my belt and a few accessories. =)

After that, we proceeded to have lunch and catch 'Lovewrecked' at lido. Silly it may sound but there wasn't made choice in the movies that were being screened so alas, 'lovewrecked' was the chosen one. The funny thing was that we had to draw lots between 'lovewrecked' and 'the break-up'.

I bought 2 rather interesting acting books at Borders and as I walked by Marks and Spencer, decided to get some gifts for my teachers.


my epic drama ; 8:23 PM

Sunday, August 27, 2006

I'M UNDER THE SEA

Felt really great and full after a sumptous dinner at Jumbo Seafood @ WaterFront (Indoor Stadium). The setting for the restaurant was just by the river which gave it a rather serene and breezy ambience. It was great time for me to spend with my family. Anyway, this was a pre-birthday treat for my family and the great thing was that the place was not crowded. Oh btw, do u noe that the paddle of the crab has hairs too....Interesting discovery..hehheh! (i dun think u can see it from the picture!)



Ooo..I feel like spongebob..."Mr Crab!'or maybe Davy Jones from Pirates of the Caribbean...








That's the sign at Waterfront..


my epic drama ; 11:35 PM

Saturday, August 26, 2006

"PLEASE BE INFORMED THAT FLIGHT SQ XXX WILL BE DEPARTIN' IN 10 MINS TIME. THANK YOU."

Met the class at the airport to send Mandy off to New York, US. How envious I was! This was the third time in 2 weeks that I visited the airport. Too bad it just wasn't me flying away.

Anyway, I guess I will be missing those moments where Mandy never failed to amuse us with her zeal and enthusiasm.

After that we left for PS to watch a movie and following that we had a rather good chit-chat session at Macs.


my epic drama ; 9:46 PM

Wednesday, August 23, 2006



MUNCHING AWAY

Hey! I'm finally promoted. That means higher pay and I can get the stuff that I want to get for my upcoming birthday...haha!

Perhaps the most fulfilling event that has happened today is the meeting with my munchkin gang at Holland V (oh btw, it's munchkin - without the 's', and not munchkins). Had some fun and refreshed our knowledge of playing the game.

The best part of the game was the revenge that I had planned all while. I was sabotaged by Jasho and Junyang and when the opportunity arose I exacted my revenge! Haha! I'm so vindictive and vicious!

Anyway, saw some nice munchkin merchandises such as the t-shirts. Maybe, we munchkiners should get the t-shirts.



my epic drama ; 11:23 PM

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

A MOMENT LIKE THIS

While organising my documents on my comp, I happened to stumbled on the photo montage video that Nic and I so desperately sought to complete before Farewell Assembly last year. Feeling bored, I decided to take a look and so many memories flashed back as I recalled and missed those evanescent moments.

Most of my friends might have realised that I used to say in J2 that I wished to graduate as soon as possible and I remembered them telling me not to rush things over and that they would prefer not to graduate at all but enjoy the fun-filled and memorable college experience. Now, as I think about it, I do feel kind of bad and guilty that I even thought about graduating. Perhaps I was very short-sighted - thinking about the freedom and fun after As (including prom). Come to think about it, I felt that I wasted my break after As, not doing anything productive at all! For my friends they felt concern over the future (such as NS for the guys) as well as the demands and expectations of an adult in the working world.

Now that most of my friends are going away (with Sherry and Bonita who just started their American phase for a week or so), I kind of felt the desire to travel too...


my epic drama ; 11:30 PM

Saturday, August 05, 2006







Dulce Et Decorum Est
Wilfred Owen

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of disappointed shells that dropped behind.

GAS! Gas! Quick, boys!-- An ecstasy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling
And floundering like a man in fire or lime.--
Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.
In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

If in some smothering dreams you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,--
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est
Pro patria mori.


my epic drama ; 2:46 PM

Friday, August 04, 2006


PANDA-MANIA

Saw some really nice pictures in national geographic and discovered my love for pandas. I realised that they are actually really cute!


my epic drama ; 7:05 PM

Sunday, July 30, 2006

SOMEBODY PLEASE BREAK MY MONOTONY!

I just realised that I've been slacking away the last few weeks with no posts at all. I must admit that I've been rather lazy. Another point to take note is that so far nothing ostentatious and interesting has happened in my life - a dictated life with scheduled booking-ins and -outs as well as having all my friends being busy that much of my book-outs in the past month was juz me rotting in front of my computer and re-watching movies. So far, there hasn't been any really interesting novels comparable to that of Dan Brown's or Harry Potter. Have been wanting to get the play The History Boys but apparently it's not released in Singapore yet. Have been reading my friends' blogs and realised that many of them have got their driving license that makes my face turn green.

Until yesterday, my life undoubtedly has been shamefully boring. Decided to watch Lake House and I thought that the notion of corresponding to someone 2 years ago (or vice versa) was a rather interesting concept. It's been a long time since I watched a movie of the romance genre and I enjoyed it though it was quite irritating to keep changing your perception from 2004 to 2006 and back again.

Met Gerald and Nasser to watch Pirates of the Caribbean: The Dead Man's Chest in the evening and I was quite disappointed with the ending - kinda like how Fellowship of the Ring ended which made you want to watch POC 3.

After that, took a cab to Elvine's house for class gathering. I admit that since I entered the army, I must have been rather generous to cabbies by patronizing them, but take a look how far in Elvine's house is! It's great to have the class gather together, more so since many of the girls are leaving for other countries in August like Yunqin, Sherry, Mandy and Jasho. Gonna miss all the fun that they have brought us all. Sob! Feelin' nostalgic now. I just hope that in the near (and far) future, we can all still meet up again somewhere and sometime and not break the bonds of fellowship that we have sub-consciously and painstakingly built up the last 2 and half years or so.

When I arrived, we played Mafia for a while and after some people left, we decided to play some water-consuming game initiated by Yunqin and it goes like this: Each number on the card represents some water-consuming related action and each one in the game picks a card and follows what the number represents. The process carries on until all 4 Ks are out. What was amusing is that everyone rushed to the toliet before and after each round. We played 2 rounds and after that we did various activities and eventually, everyone fell asleep...

Woke up at 8.15am and left with Gabriel to the main road. We parted and I reached home just in time for breakfast and church. After church, went to Bugis Junction to get a haircut and get a pair of jeans and here I am now in front of my PC.


my epic drama ; 4:18 PM

Saturday, June 24, 2006

FUTBOLL!

Went to Jasho's place after I reached home to spend time with the class watching soccer. I actually met up with Jialun and Gabriel at Yio Chu Kang MRT and hitched a ride from Jas' dad to her home. Max, Sherry and Nic were there when we arrived and we went upstairs to watch teh World Cup. The matches were kinda boring with no interesting moves by the players and all of us started to fall asleep and eventually half the match ended and we took a break for a while. We had the liberty to consume some chips before the rest arrived. Haha!

The rest joined us sometime near the end of the second half of the match and while waitin' for the 3am Switzenland vs Korea match, we stoned for a while, contemplating what to do. We decided to watch She's the man and I was lucky and did not need to spend money to watch it in the cinema(which I initially intended to do) .

We soon feasted a some roti pratas and enjoyed some green tea (is that an appropriate combination?) and some Milo-Dino. Chatted a little bit and we decided to go up and watch the Swiss vs Korea match. Some of us soon got bored of the match with the exception of Mandy, with her higher-than-usual exuberance and inexhaustible dynamism and energy. The cause of this phenomemon - betting.

Gradually, people decided to retreat into their slumber and around the second half of the match. I was forced by my eyes to abandon the match.

We woke up around 8 am and like our usual selves sunk into our stone mode and eventually left for J8 to eat breakfast at Macs. We then left for college to play basketball and left at about 12.30 pm proceeding to supermarket but returning empty handed.


my epic drama ; 11:46 PM

Friday, June 09, 2006

NO MORE! YEAH!

PSC rejected me! Haha! Like I even wanted the scholarship in the first place with all the bonds and pressure and the fact that I will have to face people like those in the Interview board for 6 years of my life. I dun care!


my epic drama ; 10:09 PM

Saturday, May 27, 2006

THE X-FACTOR

Watched X-Men: The Last Stand today and I thought the ending was seriously crappy and kinda dumb. What I really enjoyed about this movie was the main issue raised in the plot - If you were a mutant, would you take up the cure to be normal?

Found this and I thought it was rather interesting:

YOU ARE ICEMAN

You tried to live a normal life, but it just wasn't possible
A bit of a slacker, you rather tell jokes than cultivate your powers

Powers: turning self and others into ice, making ice weapons, becoming nearly invisible


my epic drama ; 11:48 PM

Saturday, May 20, 2006

THE QUEST FOR THE LIBERTY GRAIL

Managed to book out on Tuesday afternoon for PSC Scholarship Psychologist Interview at Raffles Hospital. Thought I might be a little out of sorts considerin' the fact that I had very little or in fact NO sleep the night before spending the night out digging and digging my own grave - the trench. Thanks to those smart alecs from World War I who created the Trench Warfare, that every soldier around the world today has to dig trenches.

Anyway, the interview went fine and it was interesting as the psychologist was amicable and lively. Did not stumble during the interview except when she asked me who my role model was. I spent like 3 mins thinkin' and a whole list of political leaders sprang up in my mind like Gandhi, Bill Clinton ( minus the scandal), Winston Churchill to name a few. Somehow I wanted someone different and unique (not a political leader) to be my role model but couldn't think of any. We then skipped that question.

The psychologist kept cross-refering to the report of the psychometric test I took last year and she said my interview responses were fairly consistent with those of the test report except that she kept pestering me about the issue of whether I tend to play up or down.

Just managed to catch Da Vinci Code. Much of the details were cut short. Thank God! I felt that Tom Hanks' and Audrey Tautou's performances as Robert Langdon and Sophie Neveu weren't that impressive. I must say that both Ian Mckellen and Paul Bettany stole the show as Sir Leigh Teabing and Silas.

Yeah, I noe there's all the controversy over The Da Vinci Code and as a Christian I shouldn't support it by watching the movie. Furthermore, we have the Catholic Archbishop calling for a ban of the movie. But seriously, I think that the whole story is fiction and even if Jesus was married to Mary Magdalene, who gives a damn except the historians. What's more important is that he is still God and all these facts and historical inquiries are so unnecessary. I can't see how marrying can affect the divinity of Christ. Come on, if he felt the pain when he was scourged and crucified, it shows the human side of him rather than the divine side of the Lord. Then using this argument, doesn't this simple experience of suffering make the Lord more man than God? I seriously think that whether Christ is married or not does not matter at all, what's more important are his teachings and philosophies as well as how we lead and live our lives as a moral and happy person. Whether Judas was asked by Christ to betray him as told by the Gospel According to Judas is not important at all. I personally think that there is insufficient evidence to support the claim as proposed by Dan Brown in his novel, but his writing and little facts like the Fibonacci sequence and the Golden Ratio and a little stuff about symbology has made the book an interesting read, at the expense of making the information inside a plausible truth. I honestly think that there is no need for a brouhaha over this, but this controversy provides the opportunity to spark an interest in finding out more about religion in many people which I feel is a plus point. I read an article in Life on Wednesday about the different locations for shooting the movie and the dean's verger of Lincoln Cathedral (the church used as a substitute for Westminster Abbey) said "The book has been a springboard to learn more about our faith." in response to allowing Ron Howard and his team to shoot in the cathedral. Perhaps the connections of Christianity with many well-known european artworks as well as it's rich history has allowed it to be exploited in Dan Brown's novel. Honestly, I think a ban of the movie will not work at all. A ban will spark even more controversy and people will be curious to discover more about the movie which will backfire the ban. If there should be a ban over the movie, why not go straight to the source and ban the book as well? Furthermore, I have not heard anything disastrous such as the number of christians in the world declining following the release of the novel or people claiming that I'm a member of the Priory of Sion. The issue has made christianity seem like a sensitive and close-minded religion. I guess, the Da Vinci Code controversy is an excellent example of how art is a very powerful tool and this makes it very interesting. Anyway, this reminds me of a GP topic I attempted last year : " 'People should fear art, film and theatre.' Do you agree? "

Unlocking my crptex now ...

" In London lies a knight a pope interred. His labour's fruit a Holy Wrath incurred. You seek the orb that ought to be on his tomb, That speaks of rosy flesh and seeded womb."


my epic drama ; 11:30 PM

Thursday, May 11, 2006

THE FUNCTION OF EDUCATION Jiddu Krishnamurti

I wonder if we have ever asked ourselves what education means. Why do we go to school, why do we learn various subjects, why do we pass certain examinations and compete with each other for certain grades? What does this so-called education mean and what is it all about? This is really a very important question, not only for the students, but also for the parents, for the teachers, and for everyone who loves this earth. Why do we go through the struggle to get educated? Is it merely only to pass some examinations and get a job? Or is it the function of education to prepare us while we are young to understand the whole process of life? Having a job and earning one's livelihood is necessary - but is that all? Are we being educated only for that? Surely, life is not merely a job, an occupation; life is something extraordinarily wide and profound, it is a great mystery, a vast realm in which we function as human beings. If we merely prepare ourselves to earn a livelihood, we shall miss the whole point of life; and to understand life is much more important than merely to prepare for examinations and become very proficient in mathematics, physics, or what you will.

So, whether we are teachers or students, is it not important to ask ourselves why we are educated or being educated? And what does life mean? Is not life an extraordinary thing? The birds, the flowers, the flourishing trees, the heavens, the stars, the rivers and the fish therein - all this is life. Life is the poor and the rich; life is the constant battle between groups, races and nations; life is meditation; life is what we call religion, and it is also the subtle, hidden things of the mind - the envies, the ambitions, the passions, the fears, fulfillments and anxieties. All this and much more is life. But we generally prepare ourselves to understand only one small corner of it. We pass certain examinations, find a job, get married, have children, and then become more and more like machines. We remain fearful, anxious, frightened of life. So, is it the function of education to help us understand the whole process of life, or is it merely to prepare us for a vocation, for the best job we can get?

What is going to happen to all of us when we grow to be men and women? Have you ever asked yourselves what you are going to do when you grow up? In all likelihood you will get married, and before you know where you are, you will be mothers and fathers; and you will be tied to a job, or to the kitchen, in which you will gradually wither away. Is that all your life is going to be? Have you ever asked yourselves this question? Should you not ask it? If your family is wealthy, you may have a fairly good position already assured, your father may give you a comfortable job, or you may get richly married; but there also you will decay; deteriorate. Do you see?

Surely, education has no meaning unless it helps you to understand the vast expanse of life with all its subtleties, with its extraordinary beauty, its sorrows and joys. You may earn degrees, you may have a series of letters after your name and land a very good job; but then what? What is the point of it all if in the process your mind becomes dull, weary, stupid? So, while you are young, must you not seek to find out what life is all about? And is it not the true function of education to cultivate in you the intelligence which will find the answer to all these problems? Do you know what intelligence is? Is it the capacity, surely, to think freely, without fear, without a formula, so that you begin to discover for yourself what is real, what is true; but if you are frightened you will never be intelligent. Any form of ambition, spiritual or mundane, breeds anxiety, fear; therefore ambition does not help to bring about a mind that is clear, simple, direct, and hence intelligent.


my epic drama ; 10:41 PM

Sunday, May 07, 2006

POLITICALLY SPEAKING, ...

There's this brouhaha over the elections. A couple of people I know, had turned up at a number of political rallies or, like in the case of my parents, hover in front of the screen last night as they anticipate the results of the rather intense and 'exciting' elections. Somehow, I've taken up a oblivious attitude to the political scene as most of the policies discussed included upgrading, CPF, blah blah... For me, I more concerned with the education system and the arts scene in the country.

Though I've just graduated, I still feel rather empathetic towards my fellow little brothers and sisters in the country who still have to endure another gruelling few years of dictated and exam-orientated education. I understand that there is no other way to gauge a student's academic comprehension but through the traditional method of tests and examinations. Perhaps, there is a need to change the mindsets of the people and the teaching methodology in schools. There is a great focus on grades and end-products rather than the process and values acquired in the course of study, so much so that almost every student studies (or mug for that matter), just to get a decent grade or in the case of over-achievers to get an extremely excellent result. I feel that education should extend to the product of acquiring knowledge needed for a person to function and succeed in society with a more hands-on appraoch.

Just wishing the best to those still in the regimented education system ...


my epic drama ; 6:02 PM

Monday, May 01, 2006

ON THE FIRST DAY OF MAY, MY TIME JUST GAVE TO ME ...

I had a fruitful weekend. Indulged in a nite of music and tragedy by watching the musical Westside Story at the Esplanade on Saturday and I enjoyed it. The singing was excellent and the actors portrayed their roles truthfully and emotively. It was my first time watching a performance at the Esplanade and I thought that it deserved a second visit by me. Might consider taking singing lessons in the future so that I can branch out to musical theatre one day and produce another Moulin Rouge!



Westside Story is a modernisation of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet (one of my favourite plays), just that the characters have different names and the story had a different setting, in New York. The plot and flow of the story was essentially the same as R & J with the rivalry between the Jets and the Sharks and the forbidden love between "a pair of star-crossed lovers". The crucial difference between Westside Story and R & J is that only the Romeo dies and the Juliet lives (though she did attempt suicide). The Romeo did not kill himself but got shot.

Met Dhanes, Yus, Peiting and Yaosheng at Marina Square on Sunday nite. Marina Square has renovated and it's totally different compared to the last time I was there. Chat up with them and Peiting told us that she spent her days after the 'A' level examinations on an expedition at Sabah and she went for diving lessons and got her certificate! So fun. Maybe someday I will sign up for diving lessons. Somehow, it just seems that whatever I plan doesn't appear to be executed. Wanted to learn wakeboarding, windsurfing, sailing and an overseas trip after "A's but instead I wasted my holidays away and now I feel that sense of nostalgia everytime I book in and wish I could relive those very days again!

Rushed to Glenn's place immediately after ODAC gathering and there were still people there even though it was late. Bought ice-cream there but by the time I reached, everything was melted and no one wanted to eat teh ice-creram which meant that my money just went down the drain. Maybe Glenn could feed the remains of the ice-cream to his dog....watever. Stayed over and everyone there were playing Spades which I did not want to play at all coz it's like another complicated version of Bridge and I hated the fact that you can't just end the game after each round and there's this retarded part about collating your scores...blah blah blah... In short, the complexities of the card game is inadequate for a simpleton like myself. At least playing Hearts was a much better experience for me, though I admit I have forgotten how to play.

Napping my May Day away ... ...


my epic drama ; 3:50 PM

Thursday, April 27, 2006

NUS, HERE I COME

Mum just messaged me today. I've been offered a place in the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences at NUS.


my epic drama ; 9:43 PM

Sunday, April 16, 2006

I'M SICK AND TIRED OF IT!

I feel so miserable. No tinge of hope left in me. I'm starting to realise that the optimism I had imposed on myself the beginning of the year is starting to drain away. Not a single bit left. Despondency is what I'm left with.

Nothing spectacular has happened the last 2 weeks during my current stint in boot camp except that I passed my fitness test with a sliver, with my results being my personal best - 234cm for SBJ and 10.50 min for 2.4 km run!

4 weeks have just passed and I have 569 days before I leave and search for my solace else where!

Carnegie Mellon accepted me! Got into the College of Humanities and Social Sciences to read English but got apps cancelled for College of Fine Arts to read Acting! Emailed the Office of Admissions and they said that I could reapply again for CFA when I enter the University.

Waiting for the scholarship boards to accept me before I accept the Uni's offer, but they are taking real long...sigh...

"Suggestive techniques for the marine to use in the avoidance of boredom and loneliness. Masturbation. Re-reading of letters from unfaithful wives and girlfriends. Cleaning your rifle. Further masturbation. Re-wiring Walkman. Arguing about religion and meaning of life. Discussing in detail, every women the marine has ever f***ed. Debating differences, such as Cuban VS Mexican, Harleys VS Hondas, left VS right-handed masturbation. Further cleaning of rifle. Studying the mail order philippine bride catalogue. Further masturbation. Planning a marine's first meal on return home. Imagining what a marine's girlfriend and her man Jody are doing in the alley or in a hotel bed. "
Anthony Swofford, Jarhead


my epic drama ; 5:10 PM

Sunday, March 26, 2006

LAMENTATIONS

My marching is getting worser. My confidence is shattering. My physique is not up to my expectations. Though it's book-out, somehow I don't feel much excitement ( which I used to have) but rather that of drudgery and nostalgia.

Random thoughts: I seriously think I have psycho-motor problems: I can't walk properly, can't co-ordinate my movements, lack the flexiblity and I can feel the tension within myself.

My Diagnosis: Probably rushed to walk during my infancy days and as a result my muscles developed in a perculiar manner which subsequently resulted in abnormal development and hence improper walking style.

2nd, I'm suffering from over-perfectionism and over-sensitivity. I guess I'm probably naive and idealistic.

Why is the world so unfair to me!


my epic drama ; 12:04 AM

Thursday, March 23, 2006

AN INTERESTING READ



Just borrowed this play called Wit from the national library and I really enjoyed it. Felt it was thought-provoking and I was stimulated to think about my life more deeply and how to make the best out of it. A life-empowering piece. Worthy of the Pulitzer Prize it won in 1999 and the numerous accolades it garnered.

Tells the story of a cancer patient who is an English professor and she undergoes experimental chemotherapy. Through the course of her treatment, she ponders on the wonderful poem by John Donne and at the same time she realises the she really desires for the kind treatment and attention from the medical community attending to her which she so refused to give to her students prior to her diagnosis. An apt description of humanity!

Death be Not Proud
Death be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not soe,
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill mee.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then?
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

Perhaps struggles in life are just like death itself.
"One short sleep past, we wake eternally, And [struggles] shall be no more; [struggles], thou shall die."


my epic drama ; 10:28 PM

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

NO MORE ADMIN!

I'm feelin' so relaxed now! I've just completed all my scholarship apps and NUS applications as well as prepared the cheque.

Do really hope I got a scholarship so it would give me the opportunity to go overseas and widen my horizons and strangle me out of my naivety.

Waiting for the best . . .


my epic drama ; 12:51 PM

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

MUSINGS....

I'm getting rather sick of this blog layout. Somehow, I feel that this design does not bring out my traits and character. It's too mechanical and lacks some element of life in it. In short, I dun think the blogskin suits me. Wish I could change it.

Anyway, I'm feeling kinda down though I'm enjoying block leave now. Have been thinking how to get those blasted legs of my extended and elongated. Somehow the 9 weeks in BMT have taught me to hate my anatomy. Yes, I noe I should be thankful of how I have legs while there are those underpriviledged few who are handicapped. But if u're in my shoes perhaps you'll noe why I'm feeling such depression. First, u have difficulty marching in step with everyone cause they can take wider and further strides when they place their feet down, causing you to not follow the timing given. Second, doing a route march while being in the centre or back will make the person behind u freaking pissed off because your feet will always crash with his. Simply put, he finds you slow and scolds you and tells you to move in front. But it does not end here, as u cut the line, u get people questioning and scolding you for cutting into the line. Third, during sizing up, u stand at the extreme left end of the line (sizing up is the arrangment from shortest to tallest) and if people cannot move into the file, they will shout at you to move more to the left and there's the pressure on you cause you have to estimate how far to move and when to stop too. Falcon Company has been really nice to me but who knows whether my next company will start to pick on me for not synchronising with the rest and causing 'traffic' problems. On another note, not relating to military life, you can never block anyone in a game of basketball and it gets irritating (with yourself of course!) when u never seem to contribute to the team at all.

Spending some time in town hasn't been always pleasant these few days too. Feelings of envy and jealousy well up in me whenever I see some guys with long legs, looking cool and having their hands connected to that of a nice pretty (probably having long legs as well) sweet-looking girl beside them. Somehow, that's a goal that will always be beyond my reach. Sigh...

Hoping for the best to come...


my epic drama ; 8:56 PM

Monday, March 13, 2006

BASKETBALL

Went back to RJ to meet up with my class to play tennis and basketball. I reached there rather early so not many people turned up but gradually, more people came and I was surprised that some girls who I thought were working actually turned up too.

There was a delay because Gabriel had forgotten to take his basketball when he left his house and had to rushed back home to get it.

After the game, some of us left for J8 to eat at Thai Express and it does bring back memories to those days in school . . .


my epic drama ; 7:31 PM

Monday, February 20, 2006

BACK ON TRACK

I've been rather shagged the last few weeks after all the training and at the same time busily spending time during book-outs to do stuff I really want to do and that explains the lack of posts.

Due to incessant naggings from a certain friend, I've decided to submit to his plea and update my blog. To be truthful, I'm kinda irritated 'cause he thinks it's easy and fast to type an entry but honestly I don't think so. First, I'm spending my weekdays in camp with less than 24 hours of civilian life and secondly, for me to write an entry that I think is perfect and fit for publication, I take around 30 mins to 45 mins to compose it and subsequently, check the entryfor any errors!

Nothing much happened durin' Chinese New Year except the fact that I manage to do stuff that I had planned to do and had relatives scrutinising my head and commenting on my "M"-shaped hairline (thinking that there is some symbol or meaning behind the shape of the hairline). Then, there was the sumptous dinner at Intercontinental Hotel and photo-taking session.

Juz bookout yesterday night and I felt rather priviledged seeing some of my friends going towards the ferry while I was walking in the opposite direction and boy me, I wanted to laugh!


my epic drama ; 6:18 PM

Sunday, January 22, 2006

"IS THIS THE [FREEDOM] I SEE BEFORE ME, ITS HANDLE TOWARDS MY HAND?"

I finally got my independence after 2 weeks worth of confinement. Finally got the opportunity to do whatever I want. Had an enjoyable time sleeping on my bed (with those extremely comfortable blankets) and the chance to use this machine from which all my blog entries are being processed and published - the computer.

As soon as I got back, I caught the Golden Globe Awards on television as I had asked my mum to record it on tuesday morning (after incessant reminders). Hoped that Ziyi Zhang might garner Best Actress in a Drama for her performance as Sayuri in Memoirs of a Geisha but instead Felicity Huffman (actress from Desperate Housewives) got the award for her performance in Transamerica. I had hoped that Ziyi would win so that it could open Hollywood's mind to the fact that Asian actors aren't just capable of doing only kungfu and playing roles such as waiting tables (a sterotype) but we are also able to explore and exhibit the emotional aspects of humanity. Even though she didn't get the award she was nominated for, at least 2 Asians won awards - Ang Lee for Best Director for Brokeback Mountain and Sandra Oh, a Korean-Canadian, for Best Actress in Grey's Anatomy.

Jessica Alba was one of the presenters during the Golden Globe and she was as stunning as ever. Alba rocks!



On Sunday, after church, went to Newton MRT to meet the class. I noe I was really late until I really put some people, such as Jingming, off. Sorrie.

Went to have some western food for lunch and we guys shared our a bit of coping with our rather regimented lives to our female aquaintances. Was supposed to go Lilian's house with the rest for a while but due to the fact that I had a movie to catch later that afternoon, I had to leave immediately after I ate.

Proof, the movie I watched, was based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning play by David Auburn and it revolves around the story of Katherine, who like her mathematician father was a genius but suffers from a mental disorder. After the death of her dad, her dad's student, Hal found a mathematical proof which he believed was written by Katherine's dad and he wanted to publish this worthy proof. By a twist of events, Katherine declared that it was her proof not her dad's. The proof turns out to be proving that it was Katherine and not her dad who wrote the proof rather than about the mathematical proof itself. In this process, Katherine tries to cope with her mental disorder with the help of her sister Claire and Hal.

Trully enjoyed this piece of work though it was only one and a half hours long.

"Today, too late, how long do we have to wait?"
Sum 41, Noots


my epic drama ; 5:30 PM

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED AND THE DREAM

Did a couple of stuff which made me really proud today:

1. Made my ATM Card
2. Got my bank draft for Uni Apps
3. Cancel some additional handphone subscription that was redundant
4. Learn how to use SAM machine
5. Update my POSBank book
6. Read finish Angels and Demons (the 2nd time)
7. Blogging

Anyway, I got this rather wierd dream last night:

I had an elder brother in my dream (which I don't have in reality) and apparently, he came back from overseas. I can't exactly remember which country he came from and according to this dream of mine, he juz returned from his university studies. Started to talk to the rest of my family about his trip and he was really nice to me. I was sort of close to him and I felt in the dream that I had knew him all my life. I started asking him in the dining room about his trip overseas and whether he enjoyed it or not. Then somehow, I woke up. I felt rather strange when I woke up.

I consulted a few friends as to what they interpret of it.

One of them said that maybe I was dreaming in the view of my sister and that "elder brother" was actually myself.

Another said that perhaps I was dreaming of going overseas that I had such a dream.

Curious, I consulted some Dream Interpretation website to see what they made of my dream. Honestly, if I were Harry Potter I would have consulted Sybil Trelawney or read Inigo Imago's The Dream Oracle. Here's what the website said:

"If you do not have a brother and dream that you have one, then he may symbolize characteristics that you need to acknowledge within yourself. The brother in your dream can also be synonymous with a close friend or buddy. Brother also has religious implications and thus represents spiritual issues. Consider also the familiar phrase "big brother is watching you" which indicate that your dream has to deal with issues of authority and oppression. "

After all these comments, I 've concluded that it's the elder brother was jusz part of my imagination. Most people usually dream of what they want in life. For me, since young, I've always wanted an elder sibling to pamper me and to spoil me and for me not to have all the responsibility. So perhaps that's why I had the dream.

Secondly, perhaps the "elder brother" that I had was a transposition of myself, i.e. my character and qualities were personified in another person and that person might be someone I wish to be or it could be me.

I think it's really interesting to have such funny and eccentric once in a while and it's kinda exciting to try to interpret it.

Should sleep now and get another wierd dream....


my epic drama ; 9:44 PM